on serving self

I'm selfish

with one or two exceptions, I've never been wholly dedicated to myself, and yet recently I've noticed that I have become increasingly insular. Is this part of getting older? Is it because my wife is pregnant with our first child? The realization that this transition is occurring is fascinating for two reasons: firstly, it is entirely predictable, I would imagine, from an external party. I was just married and becoming a father. It isn't exactly a great leap to say that I would instinctively nest a bit at this point. The fascinating thing is that, were I analyzing someone else in this situation, I would have come to this conclusion and likely judged myself rather harshly. The fact that the mundane predictability of it, despite the history of my nature, would in the end apply directly to me is, to me, quite interesting. The second point is related to the first: throughout my life I've been known to feel great empathy for, well, just about anyone (or thing). The veer towards the crotchety lately gives me pause; one more reminder about the inevitability of the various stages of the human condition, and thus another reminder of my own mortality.